Commentators: You should have gone to a popular highstreet opticians

I’m not sure at what point I woke up and found that the majority of commentators on TV had been replaced with the ones found in computer games from the 90’s, you know, the old games where you would get classic lines such as “that must be a spot kick” when you just hacked down someone in the centre circle.

Too many times now the team here will sit down and watch a game together, listen to the commentary and just shout at the TV “WHAT?!”, it seems a growing trend now that the commentators will just comment on a game that they wish they were watching and not what is actually happening.  A ball gets whipped into the box, striker gets a touch on it, it cannons off a defender, angles off at 90 degrees and nestles in the bottom corner.. “What a strike!”  – erm.. no. What a slice of luck you mean, unless the forward has a degree in chaos theory and quantum mathematics and could predict the exact angles he would need to shoot in order to hit the left thigh of the defender and spin the ball into the net.

What gets me, is that even after watching a replay, where we can all clearly see the deflection, these commentators stand by their guns, praising the striker like they are dating them, admit you got it wrong, admit you didn’t see it in real-time (even if half of your viewers might have done!) make a joke about it, anything will do.  Don’t just stick to blind faith in what you just said!

I’m sure it is a hard job to do, and I do mean that, memorising all the players, stats, facts and useless trivia, filling in the dull points of the game, being confident about your topic, but the easiest part of the job is surely to describe what just happened.  You have eyes.  Use them.